Thursday, 18 October 2012
It’s nearly two months since I left South Africa and moved to Amsterdam. I have also neglected to write or post a single entry on my blog in a while.
Life has been an absolute whirlwind since August. Can’t really grasp the fact that we already in October and December is so near.
It’s feels like forever ago since I left my job, packed up my life and moved to this amazing city which I am totally and utterly in love with.
Life abroad is a completely new experience for me, and it is the first time I had to leave home. Jumping on the plane that night was incredibly exciting, I couldn’t wait to start my journey but at the same time, I was scared.
There is a palpable fear to living in a new country, and though it is more acute in the first months, or a year down the line, I don’t think it ever completely evaporates as time goes on. It simply changes.What I am starting to understand is that once I have settled into a new life and country and as time passes, it becomes less a question of how long I have been here and more one of how long I have been gone, what I am starting to realize is that life back home goes on without you. People are growing up, starting careers, falling in love, and moving on, but I guess that’s the way it works.
Living in Amsterdam has been challenging, the way of life here and the people are vastly different to back home. It’s hard to deny that the act of living in another country, in another language, fundamentally changes you. Different parts of your personality sort of float to the top, and you take on qualities, mannerisms, and opinions that define the new people around you. I don’t believe this is a bad thing, I simply think they we adapt and adjust. I think it’s the whole beauty around leaving in the first place; you wanted to evolve, to change something, to put yourself in an uncomfortable new situation that would force you to into a new phase of your life.
To live in a new place is a wonderful, exciting thing, and it can show you that you can be whoever you want to be. It can give you this new freedom, a new start with new beginnings. A whirlwind of curiosity and excitement.
The move to live in Amsterdam with the love of my life, to start a new career and life has been the best move, however to start over, to pack up, say goodbye and jump on a plane doesn’t come without a price, sadly I cannot be in two places at once, and every now and then, I’ll lie awake on random nights and think of all the things I’m missing out on back home...